Untitled (I am watching you)

I am watching you.
There is a scar on my brain that holds me fast,
But you are driving me silently crazy.
I’m at war with myself.
You’ve imprinted on me—or I on you—
My resistance is hollow,
But my paralysis is turned up by 100 degrees.
When you look at me, I jump inside.
The storm in my brain thunders.
Our eyes lock for a split second.
I can’t explain this—the moment is unequaled.
My denial is shallow—there is no error.
Everyone can see.
The numbers I understand better than myself.
For a brief moment—it’s spades and spice,
But like a babe abandoned by her mother,
The brakes you throw up are there to kill me.
How do I tamp down the attraction
When it would lead to such disaster?
It’s a process until I can see past the outer shell.
The fake tenderness is unbecoming,
But seeing past the pretty frame, it shatters like glass.